Tom Cruise Is Trying to Bring Down the Republic

Has anyone else noticed that Tom Cruise is linked to just about every major political scandal of the past three years?

This morning I was reading a recap of the Scooter Libby trial, written by one of the jurors, when I saw this reference:

Cruise’s upcoming visit to the Office of the VP to discuss Scientologists in Germany was one of the 27 items in the June 14, 2003 briefing [Craig] Schmall gave to Libby. The more important item was a note on that day’s table of contents. “The Amb told this was a VP office question?” “Joe Wilson” “Valerie Wilson.” The note was written by Schmall, who said his practice was to make note of topics introduced by Libby for possible follow up at the CIA. That testimony would indicate Libby was aware of Valerie Wilson nearly a month before he claims to have first heard her name from Tim Russert.

Inconsistencies: A few of us bring up Schmall’s January 8, 2004 FBI interview. At that time he said he first discussed the matter of Mrs. Wilson only after Robert Novak’s July 14 article.

Schmall amended that after finding the table of contents from the earlier briefing with the “Joe Wilson” “Valerie Wilson” note. That, and the Tom Cruise item, refreshed his memory. “Mr. Libby was a little excited. I was excited.”

If all that seems like gibberish to you, remember this key point: Scooter Libby and a career CIA employee named Craig Schmall were excited about meeting Tom Cruise, and their excitement over meeting him becomes a point of reference in the most important criminal trial in Washington since Iran-Contra.

So that’s scandal #1.

Scandal #2 is the fiasco over the eight U.S. attorneys who were fired for what appears, in some cases, to be their reluctance to use their offices for purely partisan purposes.

Most prominent among the fired attorneys is David Iglesias, a former Navy lawyer who was one of the models for Tom Cruise’s character in A Few Good Men.

Scandal #3 involves another character Cruise played, the hot-shot fighter pilot in Top Gun. I’ve read and heard over the years that the character, Maverick, was based on real-life fighter pilot Duke Cunningham, who’s better known today as the most corrupt congressman in U.S. history.

Alas, that story isn’t true.

Cunningham was indeed a cocky asshole, but the specific cocky asshole in Top Gun wasn’t based on him. Hard as it is to believe, a Hollywood screenwriter came up with the idea of making the lead character in a major movie a cocky asshole without having to base him on any real-life cocky asshole.

But it does make me wonder what role Cruise might’ve played in other scandals, or might play in future ones.

Maybe the bartender in Cocktail was based on a real-life mixologist who got all the Watergate conspirators drunk the night of the break-in, causing them to botch it and bring down a president.

Maybe the kid in Risky Business was based on Brett Wilkes, a defense contractor who provided Duke Cunningham (remember, he’s the guy who wasn’t the inspiration for Maverick) with hookers.

And, what the hell, maybe Charlie Babbitt, the unscrupulous businessman Cruise played in Rain Man, was based on Scooter Libby himself. Makes as much sense as anything.

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