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« Wednesday Weirdness | Main | Dead Man Running » I'm a Lumberjack and I'm Okay ...December 07, 2006I don't normally talk about my bowel movements on this blog, and I'm not really talking about them now. It's just that the story about the bruise on my head starts in the bathroom: Saturday morning, I've just sat down and opened the sports page, the doorbell rings. It's my neighbor, telling us that one of our trees fell into his yard during the storm the previous night. As it happened, I didn't have a chance to get up to his yard to work on the tree until yesterday afternoon. (It's not the kind of thing you want to do in the dark.) I started at the small end, sawing off branches and hauling them down to the woodpile in my yard. I should say that this is harder than it sounds. My yard is pretty big, about an acre, and the woodpile is about as far from the neighbor's yard as it can be. My point is that it was late, close to dark, and I was getting tired. I don't mean that as an excuse, just an explanation of why I didn't realize that the branch I was sawing was all that was holding the bulk of the tree off the ground. And once I'd sawed through it, a few hundred pounds of tree came down on top of me, including a good-sized branch that caught me on the side of the head. The resulting abrasion is about the size of an egg, and I can't help but wonder what it would've looked like had I not been wearing my Mike Nesmith hat. I often think about what I should've learned in my youth that would help me now. Today I'm thinking a lot about basic physics, or whatever subject teaches you to think about the way things fit together. But maybe what I really lack is what can't be taught in school, that thing we used to call "common sense," before it became so uncommon. And I still don't really know why I'm putting all this on my blog. My wife and I have started to joke that our lives, some days, are like a parody of suburbia, with three kids who sometimes have to be three different places at any given hour. And there I am up in my neighbor's yard, sprawled on the ground beneath hundreds of pounds of dead tree, wondering when I turned into a sitcom dad, and why I hadn't noticed it before now. That's when I thought back to Saturday morning, sitting on the toilet with my sports page, when my world seemed a lot less comic. Posted by LouSchuler at December 7, 2006 07:10 AM
CommentsHi Lou, I enjoy reading you blog and today it inspired me to ask... Posted by: Sweets
Good question. I was able to crawl out from under the tree; I think the branch that hit me in the head helped keep the entire weight of the thing from landing on me. And I was still up toward the thinner end of the trunk. But my training did come in handy, lifting some pretty big chunks of the trunk onto my shoulders and carrying them over to my woodpile. If anyone had been watching, that part would've looked pretty cool. But given what happened before that, I'm glad no one was. Posted by: Lou Schuler
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